You know what no one tells you about depression and anxiety? It never goes away. It is always right there lurking, waiting. Even if you are getting help, it will never fully go away. There will be good days and bad days, there will be ups and downs. None of us can snap our fingers and make it go away (trust me, we want to). No one talks about the physical pain, getting sick from it, the times when your heart rate increases and you struggle to breathe. No one wants to talk about the nights you don’t sleep. It is amazingly difficult honestly. There are days I can’t eat, and if I do, I get sick from it. There are times when my hands start to shake and my heart rate increases, even if I am just sitting down. I am not writing about this for you to feel sorry for people who deal with this, we don’t need you to feel sorry for us.
I am writing this because it is important that people stop saying we do it for attention, stop telling us to not panic, trust me it isn’t that easy. The terror feels so real. It feels like the darkness is closing around you and you can’t do anything to stop it. The important thing is that you make sure that your friends know you are there for them. You don’t have to do anything, but remember they are still the person you love. My mind tries to convince me that I am alone and that no one cares about me, and if I’m not careful I believe that. Yes, my friends get frustrated with me, it’s hard to deal with. I know that. The fact is, they are there for me. They understand when I need to leave dinner because I’m panicking, they understand when I can’t leave my apartment, and they never pressure me about it. It is something that takes time.
My advice for someone who is on the outside looking in~ be there. You never know when they will need you most. This isn’t something that is easy to predict, and sometimes it is trigger by nothing at all. I know I have talked with a few of my close friends who feel helpless when I am having a hard time. The thing is, there is nothing to do to take away the pain. It is there. I don’t expect them to be able to fix this. But you can love them. You can support them. You can point out when they have made progress. You can be their cheerleader. Never stop being there, never stop loving, and never stop fighting for them.
If you are going through this~ you are never alone in this fight. I know it can be hard to fight every single day. I know how much it hurts. I know it is not something that is easy to talk about. But I also know, that you can do this. I know the feeling of the darkness, but after darkness comes light. I guess what I’m saying is, be there for them. Everyone needs some sunshine in their lives, so be someones sun today. Fight to find the sun.