Depression does all kinds of things to you. It convinces you that you don’t matter. It is a voice in your head that tells you no one loves you. It’s the part of your brain that tells you, you can’t do it. It’s the part that tells you that it would be better to be alone, and just push everyone away. You don’t want to leave your bed, you don’t want your dog to look at you, you don’t want anyone to be anything to you.
But you are not alone. Millions of people go through this with you. Millions of other stay awake at night thinking that everyone hates them, that they don’t deserve to be loved, and that maybe their friends would be better off without them. But they wouldn’t be. You are never as alone as you think you are. It feels like you are alone, but you aren’t.
Sure, people are going to walk out of your life. People are not always going to understand that you have to cancel plans, that you are not the same you anymore, or that things will change. But there are the people who will understand, trust me I do.
Honestly, depression and anxiety are more common than you would think. People are just afraid to talk about it. No one can blame them, it’s scary enough just to battle it. Opening up leaves you completely exposed. I know that if you are battling either one of these, it feels like you are alone. The thing is, you aren’t. You are never alone. There is always someone there for you, it might not always be who you expected, but someone is there. I know that when people talk about it they treat you like you have something they can catch. I know people think you control it and don’t understand that you don’t. I know how lonely that feels.
I know what it’s like to want to give up at three am. I know what it’s like to think that people would be better without you. I also know the heartbreak of losing friends and family. I know what it does to people. I know how terrible all of this is.
You are important. You are loved. You are strong. You can do this. It’s never going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it.