Life · Uncategorized

I Don’t Owe You Anything

Dear stranger, I don’t owe you anything. Stop being offended when I don’t respond to a cat call. I’m not a cat. I’m a human, I have a name, and I’m at the gas station to get gas, not to pick up a stranger. Despite what you seem to think.

Don’t upset when I don’t look over at you. You and your friends are not doing me any favors, you are making me super uncomfortable actually. I don’t owe you a conversation, you are not going to get a phone number from me. If you are calling over to random girls, and being creepy, then you are probably not my type. I like guys who actually respect girls, crazy right?

We seem to live in a world that guys think that it is not only acceptable but also cute to be rude to girls. Guys seem to think that if they are paying attention to us it is a gift, it’s not. It’s weird. I’ve been at the gas station twice in the last week and a half where this has happened to me. I’ve had it happen at work where I get so uncomfortable I go to a manager and ask not to work with someone. It is not some high honor to be cat called. It is not an honor for a truck of guys to drive slowly by and yell to get your number. IT IS CREEPY.

I worked with a guy once, who asked me on a date, and I didn’t say yes or no, I told him I wanted to think about it. The next day, two guys I work with asked me how my date was… He went around and told everyone we went on this amazing date, and assumed I wouldn’t find out about it. That lost him the chance I might have given him.

I went on a first date once where he was telling me all about how we would be perfect together, and how cute I was, and how he wanted to see me every single day that week. When he found out I worked and had plans with my best friend, he freaked out on me. He went off yelling about how he needed to see me, he would text me about how he missed me and needed to see me, and how if he didn’t he would be depressed. He wouldn’t have any form of conversation that wasn’t “you are so cute, I miss you when can I see you”. It’s a little scary honestly. We had one dinner and all of a sudden you think you can decide who I spend time with, and don’t want me spending time with friends? And then you yell at me when I tell you I am too busy to see anyone right now.

What girls want, is to be respected. What girls want is to be comfortable with someone. When I get dressed up, I’m not asking you for anything- I want to feel good about myself for me, not you. What girls want is to be able to go places alone and feel safe. I shouldn’t feel the need to have a guy with me or travel in groups. I know guys think it is flattering but it’s really not. There is such a huge difference between flirting and being creepy…

Here is the thing, if a guy makes me feel uncomfortable I am going to want to get away from the situation as quickly as possible. That is not going to get him any closer to talking to me.

Dudes, for the sanity of every girl on the planet, please stop being like this. We want to feel respected and appreciated. We want to feel safe. I’m sure there are some girls who will respond to cat calls and whistling at a gas station, but majority of us don’t. Don’t roll your window down at a red light to try to talk to me. Just be mindful of what could come across as what makes a girl feel unsafe.

It might not be your intention, but we live in a world that bad things happen in. We live in a world where girls feel unsafe so much of the time. I’ve honestly thought about buying a fake ring to wear certain places because it can be so bad. I shouldn’t want to wear a fake ring. I shouldn’t feel like I need to create a fake boyfriend in a situation. If I am not interested in you, then stop. It’s not a shot at your pride or whatever, maybe I’m talking to someone already, maybe I’m not dating, maybe I’m more focused on school and work, whatever the reason is just accept it.

I’m not sure why guys seem to think I owe them the time of day, but I don’t. No girl does. Trust me, we talk to our friends later about how creepy it was, how uncomfortable we were, and we send screenshots of your creepy messages to other girls too. I’m sorry if this offends any of you reading this, but as a PSA stop being creepy.

Guys, if you are reading this and are not offended, then it is probably not directed at you. I know guys who hate this as much as I do, there are good guys in the world. There are plenty of respectful guys. I’m not talking to those guys right now, it’s the other ones.

There seems to be this thing in our culture that makes this okay. Like somehow it should be some accomplishment if a guy does this. Guys seem to think that if we don’t respond or are not interested that it is okay to blame the girl and make her feel guilty.

Stop making girls feel unsafe. Stop giving us reasons to feel like this. It is not our fault. I have absolutely no responsibility to make you feel good about yourself by responding to you. I have no responsibility to you at all. It is not my job to make you feel good about yourself.

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One thought on “I Don’t Owe You Anything

  1. Yessssss you are so spot on. I hate that this has affected you so much that it needed a post, im sorry that people have made you feel so uncomfortable. I think it has a lot to do with maturity, guys dont mature and they think it gives them an excuse to be disrespectful, and when they dont get what they want they get upset, its ridiculous really. Maybe someday theyll learn, ill stay hopeful.

    Like

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