Life · Uncategorized

What I Wish I Knew In High School

Dear High School Me,

Soon you will be in college and you will be able to wear pajamas to class and it will be the best thing. It really doesn’t matter what you wear to school. It doesn’t matter who you eat lunch with. It doesn’t matter what club or team you are a part of. It doesn’t matter how many times you are in the yearbook. It doesn’t matter what you wore to homecoming. Ten years from now, everything you did in high school will be on your timehop and you will laugh.

Spend less time focusing on who you think you need to be and who other people tell you to be. Be who you want to be. I know every time you hear that you roll your eyes, but it is true. It always seemed silly when you heard the be you and people will love you for it. People may not love who you are, but that’s also okay. Not everyone needs to like you. What other kids said about you and to you seemed so important, but it wasn’t. I don’t even know what most of those kids are doing now.

I let what everyone said about me get to me, I still think about things that were said about me or to me. I’ll be the first one to tell you, there were a lot of negative things. Kids seem to think it’s cool to be mean. It’s not. I wish I had just let myself be happy with who I was. I wish I hadn’t let all the insecurities stop be from doing things I wanted to be doing. I spent so much time looking at myself and wondering why I couldn’t be like them.

In reality, most of the time people try to hurt you, so that no one sees that they are also hurt. A lot of the time the bullies are mean to deflect, they don’t know what else to do. It is not your fault that they take it out on you, you have done nothing to deserve it. Don’t blame yourself. I know it won’t just roll off of you, but maybe just keep in mind that they lash out and that is not your fault. I wish I had known that before.

I kept my head down in hallways, I looked away when I knew kids were making fun of me, I kept to myself because it felt like that was the only way to survive. Honestly, high school was awful for me because I didn’t let myself be me. The only place I felt like I was myself was in theater class. I’ll forever be thankful I had that. Find what makes you happy, find what you love. It doesn’t matter what other people say about it.

I get it, driving, first jobs, college tours, all of those things are exciting. Coming from an “adult”, don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. I miss my parents, and my brother, and my extra activities. Trust me, you will get to college and realize how much your parents did for you. You will miss the days where you didn’t have as much to worry about.

But here is the thing in five years what that guy thought of you won’t matter, it won’t matter if you didn’t wake up an hour early to do hair and makeup. It’s not about the drama, the gossip, the clicks, the cat fights, the mean girls, the jocks. What matters, is that you were who you were and you were happy.

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